Planet Dopamine: Meet the Dopamings

October 23, 2011

Meet the Dopamings

From Dopapedia, the dopamine encyclopedia.

The dopamings are earthling doppelgängers who live on a planet similar to ours, in a parallel universe, not far away.

Like earthlings, the dopamings are convinced they are their planet’s most evolved species. And like earthlings, the dopamings are in the process of self-annihilation. The dopamings don’t understand they’re the biggest threat to their own existence because they are all suffering from dopamine-induced madness (DIM).

DIM is a debilitating brain disease caused by dopamine addiction. DIM provides the ignorance, self-deceptions, and denials that help dopamings ignore their impending demise and pretend addictions to destructive dopamine-triggering substances, behaviors, and beliefs are normal, acceptable, and even admirable.

In effect, DIM turns dopamings into DIMwits who are just clever enough to fool themselves and one another. And more than defensive enough to eliminate anyone who isn’t fooled.

The smarter the DIMwit, the more clever and inventive the self-deceptions and denials, and the less interested in understanding how DIM works.

Despite their mind-altering affliction, most dopamings are very nice and even the craziest DIMwits can seem quite sane — as long as their dopamine flow isn’t threatened.

Essentially, DIM has turned Planet Dopamine into a floating mental institution with the biggest DIMwits running the asylum. Free to decide what are and aren’t addictions, the DIMwits in charge cleverly (and unconsciously) control the definition of acknowledged addictive substances and behaviors. As a result, addictions to money, fear, power, safety, acceptance, attention, approval, esteem, status, and religion aren’t considered addictions, even though they are more addictive, more common, and more destructive than all of the acknowledged addictions combined.

DIMwits understand why most of the dopamings they dislike, and many of the ones they like, are insane, but few have any insights into their dopamine-induced madness.

DIM keeps dopamings from questioning questionable behaviors which, in turn, unites avowed enemies and keeps dopamings who despise one another committed to a common goal — protecting themselves from learning about DIM.

Mini DIMwits, with benign addictions that do little or no damage, don’t want to know how their petty addictions enable malicious DIMwits to indulge the malignant addictions destroying Planet Dopamine.

The reason for this is dopamings are only interested in substances, experiences, ideas, beliefs, information, and other dopamings that trigger dopamine. The more dopamine triggered, the stronger the dopamine appeal, the greater the dopamings’ interest.

Conversely, anything and anyone that reduces, interrupts, or threatens dopamine flow is automatically disliked, dismissed, hated, and/or avoided.

As might be expected, dopamings love deceptions that boost their esteem (and trigger dopamine), such as believing they are much smarter than they actually are, they have free will, their problems will be solved by science, and their favorite addictive behaviors are normal, acceptable, and even admirable.

When it comes to anything that threatens dopamine flow, dopamine repel ensures dopamings aren’t interested. Dopamine repel keeps DIMwits from knowing, or wanting to know, how dopamine appeal and repel usurp free will, that they’re all dopamine addicts, or why they’re suffering from a brain disease threatening their species’ existence.

Dopamine appeal is so powerful, dopamings who make the mistake of questioning the DIMwits’ deceptions are denounced, attacked, vilified, committed, imprisoned, lobotomized, persecuted, prosecuted, tortured, and/or killed.

Enlightened dopamings, who tried to warn the masses about DIM, were crucified, turned into martyrs, saviors, and deities, then worshiped by DIMwits seduced by the dopamine-inducing delusion they’d found salvation. Meanwhile, clever DIMwits exploit fears to acquire power by misinterpreting, misrepresenting, and ignoring the enlightened dopamings’ wisdom.

DIMwits believe they are involved in the logical pursuit of pleasure, enjoyment, fulfillment, and salvation while ignoring the damage caused by their unsuccessful efforts to end the misery associated with dopamine-induced withdrawal.

The more dopamine the DIMwits score, the more painful the withdrawal, the more miserable they grow, the more dopamine they crave, the more they scramble, the more they score, the worse the withdrawal, the more miserable they grow…

One theory is that the dopamings’ seemingly illogical behavior is, in fact, logical. According to Petrov Darlegen, a professor at Dopamine University, in racing towards self-annihilation, the dopamings are actually seeking to put an end to their mass misery.

WARNING: If you find yourself on Planet Dopamine, do not try to discuss dopamine-induced madness or dopamine addiction with a dopaming. And never call a dopaming a DIMwit. You’ll not only be wasting your time, you’ll be risking serious trouble.

Dopamings who tell you they understand what you’re talking about really won’t. And DIMwits who have no idea what you’re talking about will fail to comprehend the connection between their getting highly insulted and having their dopamine flow threatened.

If you’re lucky, you’ll be ignored or dismissed as a ridiculous, annoying, B-O-R-I-N-G crank. If your unlucky and threaten the dopamine flow of the wrong dopamings, you’ll find out how DIMwits react to individuals and information they find dopamine repellent.

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Discussion

One Response to “Planet Dopamine: Meet the Dopamings”

  1. Perfect metaphor. Doesn’t it seem like dopamine is responsible for all behavior, good or bad? Actually it is, through it’s motivational and survival affects.

    Posted by Robert Montgomery | November 14, 2011, 2:22 am

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